`` Against Love `` By Kipnis - 1169 Words

We’ve all seen the disastrous side effects of love. Divorce, torn families, and years of resentment towards divided partners, to name a few. Despite how love can and often does burn up in flames, people still fight for love and being in love like it’s the only hope they’ve got left. Everyone wants to love and be loved. It has this magic and mysterious aura surrounding it, something that is is utterly inexplicable until one has felt its effects themselves. In Kipnis’ novel, Against Love, she argues that the love most everyone seeks is not all it’s cracked up it to be. Finding and maintaining love she claims, will make both parties miserable in the end. To a certain extent, the Kipnis is correct. The love she describes in her essay that were†¦show more content†¦People find a partner they are somewhat attracted to and force this fantastical idea of love to occur between them. They delude themselves about what they really feel for each other a nd convince themselves that they are happier than they really are. The problem is, pretending all the time gets exhausting, but with the pressure to make their never true love work and to not be alone, most couples just end up toughing it out, silently miserable but seeing no other escape. In addition to teaching everyone about the woes of being single, thus instilling a steel determination in the public to avoid it at all costs, the media has also been a huge source in educating people how to form relationships in our lives. People learn how to interact in with others through what they see in their lives, on the TV, and in books. However, what we see in books and on TV is that people have to give up essential aspects of their personality to make their relationship work. Society, not love, teaches us that â€Å"both parties must be willing to jettison whatever aspects of individuality to feel their autonomy is not being sacrificed, even as it is being surgically excised† (Kipnis 665). In almost every classic teenage romance movie, the protagonist has to completely change, both in physical appearance and personality, to gain the attentions of the person they â€Å"love.† These representations of how to find love ingrain in us, whether we like it or not, t hat changing ourselves is the only wayShow MoreRelatedReview Of Against Love By Laura Kipnis1290 Words   |  6 PagesLove is a difficult word to explain, and everyone has their own opinions on what they think it truly means. Romance is a major topic in literature, movies, music, etc.†¦ The world is continuously surrounded by the notion of finding companionship in a single person and staying with them â€Å"until death do us part.† In â€Å"Against Love† by Laura Kipnis, Kipnis states, â€Å"If you love me, you’ll do what I want or need, or demand--- and I’ll love you in return† (Kipnis 805). â€Å"Carnal Knowledge† is a prime exampleRead MoreThe Myth Of Love : Laura Kipnis s Against Love1283 Words   |  6 PagesThe Myth of Love Laura Kipnis’s â€Å"Against Love†, and Raymond Carver’s â€Å"What We Talk about When We Talk about Love† ,brings up the issue of what is the definition of love and is love what we think it is. Love has changed in comparison to what it once was, and we now loosely use the term, but what does it truly mean, and why do we buy in to it. Kipnis’s essay develops the idea that this â€Å"mature love† is when someone can love and be loved, and she takes the position that this does not happen. AlthoughRead MoreAnalysis Of The Poem Against Love By Laura Kipnis Essay1987 Words   |  8 Pagesthe emotion love, love itself seems to defy definition.   In her polemic â€Å"Against Love†, Laura Kipnis argues that love cannot exist as traditional expressions of love such as marriage, monogamy, and mutuality.   However, in her argument, she defines love incorrectly by equating love to expressions of love. This definition lacks a component esse ntial to understanding the abstract concept of love: emotion. Recognizing love as emotion helps us realize that, contrary to Kipnis’ argument love by natureRead MoreEssay on Against Love864 Words   |  4 PagesKayla Gainey Professor Joey Poole English 101 14 February 2012 Laura Kipnis’ â€Å"Against Love† In her essay â€Å"Against Love†, Laura Kipnis touches on many different aspects of love. I think this is a touchy subject simply because love brings out many different opinions and beliefs. 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In fact, the idea of sexual and emotional love, or courtship love, actually provided an alternative means to a loveless marriage rather than preluded it. â€Å"The history of romantic love seems to indicate that love has its origins not only independent of marriage but as a rebellion against marriage†(pageRead MoreLove Is A Beautiful Thing2016 Words   |  9 PagesOhemaa Asantewaa Ofori-Addae ENG 112 Love is a beautiful thing and whilst others are waiting to be in love, to be loved and to have a feeling of that special desire or passion that is not the case for Laura Kipnis. Laura Kipnis in her story, â€Å"Against Love†, proves to us that love has being overrated and the deception in marriage. The life lesson I learned is that not all that glitters is gold. It shows that there are so many things that happens behind closed doors in marriage but just that we seeRead MoreThe Connection Between Love And Marriage988 Words   |  4 PagesIn â€Å"Against Love,† Kipnis explores the connection between love and marriage, as well as the involvement of labor in domesticity. She observes that long-term partnerships have failed to preserve romantic and sexual attraction, since it comprises mutuality—which treasures compromise and restrains the freedom of married individuals. Love thus can be only obtained if one gives love—by corresponding to the ideal of oneâ⠂¬â„¢s spouse. Traditionally, a healthy romantic and sexual relationship—along with parenthood—